


Shadow tilts his head at me

by creativwritingmind



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abusive Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, female abuser
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-11 17:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10470288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativwritingmind/pseuds/creativwritingmind
Summary: Lyn was beautiul, Lyn was cold and, as much as Josh hated to think about his best friend in that way, Lyn was totally out of Tyler league. She was that kind of girl both of them had only ever admired from the far, knowing that she would never come after one of them, not even if they'd made double the money they did. Still she had set her focus on Tyler Joseph and Josh couldn't help but try to find out why.





	1. Hometown's in the dark

"You have done WHAT?" Starring at his friend in disbelieve Josh tried to process the information he had just gotten. The drummer deeply whished that what Tyler had just told him was a joke, but from the way the singer avoided his eyes and started to twist his hands nervously he could tell that it was not. "I married her." the younger finally said, more a defeated whisper then a proud confirmation. In lack of a better answer Josh just threw him a "Dude!", letting himself crash on the couch in their dressroom. The strange thing was he wasn't even surprised. Since Tyler had met Lyn he had done a lot of disputeable decissions and this was just another irrational step he took. 

"How...I mean...where? We were on break for only two weeks!" "Las Vegas. We flew up there after she asked..." "SHE asked YOU?" Josh could tell that the younger got upset on the rude interruption but he just couldn't help him self. "Yes, SHE asked ME. And I was ok with it. We flew up, we married, we got back, that's it." Sensing that he better not asked why no one have been invited Josh tilted his head. "How long do you know her again? Like...two months?" For a moment he thought Tyler would yell at him, but the singers shoulders slumbed and defeat took over his features. "You don't like her, don't you?" "No...I mean yes...I mean..." sighing deeply and running his hands over his face Josh leaned foreward and rested his arms on his thights. "Gosh, Ty, I don't even know her! You showed me a picture of her on your phone and I got to talk to her once on skype. It's just...this seems a bit like you jumping the gun." 

Being a friend is a difficult task sometimes and it was for sure difficult for Josh then when he realised the plea in the youngers eyes as he fixed him. "I love her, Josh, ok? Everybody got mad at me about this and I really hoped you out of all people would understand me." Pushing all his apprehensions down then Josh got up and pulled him in a hug. "Congratulation, Buddy. I can't wait to meet her in person."

 

xxxxxxxx

 

Lyn was beautiul, Lyn was cold and, as much as Josh hated to think about his best friend in that way, Lyn was totally out of Tyler league. She was that kind of girl both of them had only ever admired from the far, knowing that she would never come after one of them, not even if they'd made double the money they did. Still she had set her focus on Tyler Joseph and Josh couldn't help but try to find out why. The first meeting hadn't gone all to well. Appearently Lyn had been tired and unnerved from the flight and she kept pushing Tyler to wrap up the soundcheck as soon as possible and get her to the hotel. The good friend he was Josh had tried to smalltalk to her, but she had not given him more then a few awkward smileys and short answers, being a lot more interested in her twitter feed. 

She was, said in the best sense of way, a bitch, and Josh got the vague feeling that something had to be seriously wrong with her. Why else should she marry a man like Tyler after two months of knowledge...she could have done better, a lot and with ease. He got a first glimpse of what was lying underneath when he randomly listened to them fighting that evening, he really didn't wanted to pry, but it was kind of heard to overhear. "I...I don't think I want to do that, love." "Oh, come on, stop being sappy! And of course you don't want to, you don't care about my feelings, am I right? You're out here, traveling around, having fun, and you expect me sitting back there in fucking Ohio, waiting for you? That's shitty, Tyler. I will not do that!" "You could come on tour with us." The small laugh Lyn gave on that made Josh shudder at the other side of the wall. 

"And sleep in one of those smelly bunks between a bunch of sweaty guys? You are crazy!" "Lyn, see, I get your point, but I just can't sell that house and move to LA." "Why? Josh has done too, hasn't he? You'd have him there, so what's your problem?" There was silence for a second and Josh could imagine his friend sitting on the edge of the bed , his head hanging low. "As strange as that might sound, but...I just can't leave my hometown Lyn. I'm away so much, I'm all over the world, I need that place to ground me. That's where I'm from, where everything began and I'd loose myself if I couldn't go back there whenever I wanted, at my place, my house, my home." Frowning his brows Josh felt an uncertain pain inside then. Tyler seldom opened up to people like this, and the way Lyn took advantage of it was everything other then pretty.

"Oh, my god, I should have listened to my sister. You're an downright emo, Tyler. Sitting in your black clothes at your goddamn piano in fucking Columbus in the winter. I hate that place. I fucking HATE IT!" she started to scream, and a harsh sound were to be heared, like somthing had fallen on the floor. Not sure why, but still determined Josh grabbed his phone and called Tyler then. The voices in the room beside him went silent on the ring tone. It took ten rings before the younger picked up. "Hey man, what's up?" "Are the two of you ok?" "Yeah bro, everyhing alright, just hit my knee on the desk." "Tyler." "Yes?" Chewing his lip Josh decided that it was not the right time to start a talk about this. "Nothing, just...go to sleep or something, ok?" Of course the younger got that he surpressed something but didn't ask back.

"Alright, will do. Thanks, man." "No offense." Hanging up Josh headed for the bathroom then, got into the shower and allowed himself to relax. When he lay down on the sheets afterwards the room beside him was silent.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Josh had braced himself for a depressed, grumpy Tyler the next day. Instead he was greeted with a smiling, kind of overacting one. Being surprised but not determined to let it show the drummer took place behind his praticing kit and starred at his friend, who walked up and down the room, getting ready for soundcheck. "You ok, buddy?" he finally asked, carefully, as casual as possible. "OK? I'm frickin' perfect!" Tyler beamed at him. "Lyn is going to stay until our five day break next week." Trying not to distort his face Josh mumbled a "Great." just to add a "WHAT?" after the next info he got. 

"Oh, and we'll be flying to LA with you. Gotta help me find a nice apartment there, fren. I'm going to be your neighbour...kind of...". There was no time to deepen the conversation as they were called on stage, but Josh was sure he would not let it go this time and stopped Tyler when they were on the way back to the bus. "Why the hell do you want to move to LA?" "Well, Ohio gets a little cold and dark in the winter and I..." "Tyler, that's the cause why I moved there! You like cold, dark winters." Looking to the ground, shrugging the singer replied: "I used to like it, I don't like it any more." 

Josh really didn't want to barge in, still he felt the urge to do. "This is about her, isn't it." Immediatly Tylers head shot up and he fixed his friend with a glare. "Stop that, Joshua." "So it IS about her." "I said stop! I get that you don't like Lyn, but she's my wife! I'd prefere you not trying to make up someting bad about her all the time." Getting a little angry now Josh raised his arms to his side and got a little louder. "This has nothing to do with my sympathy towards her! Tyler, you ARE Columbus. I know you far to long to not know that! Moving from there would kill you inside! We've been over this, remember?" Gnawing on his lip Tyler thought about the one night they had discussed if he should follow Josh to LA, and both found it was no good idea. 

"I've changed my mind." "More like she changed it." "Josh, you're crossing a line!" "I heard you yesterday." Scoffing Tyler turned an stomped off suddenly, leaving his friend standing dumbfolded. Josh needed a few seconds to process, then he started after him, catching up. "Tyler, I know you love her and I respect that, but she's nuts! She shouldn't talk to you like that." "It's none of your buisness." "Tyler I..." getting nerved by the singers demanour to just keep walking Josh reached out and grabbed his ellbow. He wasn't prepared for the answer. Stopping in his tracks, yanking his arms free from his grip Tyler pushed him with both hands on the shoulders, not hard enough to make him stumble, but to let him retreat a few steps. 

"Just leave me alone, ok? I just can't deal with you if you're like this!" Starring at his best friend shocked Josh did no further try to hold him back then as Tyler turned again and headed off. 

 

Xxxxxxxxxxx

 

They had apologised to each other, of course they had. Josh was glad to get to spent some time with his friend before the show started in absence of his wife. Lyn had gone out shopping and then retreatet into the hotel with no desire to see her husband perform. "I know that little songs anyway." she told, impatiently waiting for Tyler to kiss her goodby so she could take off. Getting changed the drummer let himself observe the younger through the mirror. Tyler had decided to change his stage outfit today, he had requested a T-shirt with sleeves instead of the loose tank top. He sometimes did that out of inspiration, so it was nothing that stood out for Josh. 

What he recognised where the nervous glances that checked if he was looking before Tyler slipped his shirt over his head, hastly tossing it beside and slipping on the other. His back was only visible for a second, still Josh could see it clearly. Red, long marks. Scratches, from nails dragged deeply into skin. It alerted him highly, but the time was too spare to talk this over now. Tyler was like a deer when it came down to things he wanted to avoid. He sensed the slightest start of a conversation and backed up. Confronting him with something requiered time. 

So Josh obeyed the rules of life and they played the show perfect, like they always did, like they did the following days. Maybe Josh shouldn't have waited so long, but in the end it didn't really matter. Tyler wouldn't have listened to him anyway at that point.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Groaning Josh rolled himself to the side as he was ripped out of sleep by a dull noise and something touching his cheek. Slowly he opened his eyes, only to be wide awake seconds later, as he realised what, or better who, tried to wake him. Tyler knelt beside his bed, one of his hands on his neck, breathing heavy but superficial. Flipping on the lamp beside the singers head Josh shot up and grabbed the others hands in his, dragging his friends spasming body up to him. "Fuck, Ty, what's wrong?" "Can'...bre...no...air..." the younger chocked, starting to tremble all over. Feeling his own heart sped up Josh tried to control himself. He knew panic attackts could be infectious and he needed to remain calm right now. Carefully he wrapped his arms around the other and pulled him close, so Tylers head came to lay on his chest. Taking some deep, slow breaths Josh reduced his own heart rate and felt his rythm slowing Tylers breath down. 

"You're ok." he hummed after a while, when he was sure the younger could hear him. "You're alright. Just calm down. I'm here." They stayed like this for a while until Josh felt the rigidness leaving his friends body and backed up. He let Tyler lay down and got up, catching a glas of water that he made him drink. Lowering himself onto the floor beside him Josh let his fingers brush over the others front absently. "Can you talk?" "A little." Tylers croaked, hoarse voice resonated in his ears. "I'm seriously worried about you Tyler. I know you think I just hate Lyn, but that's not true. I can't hate her because I don't know her at all. But from what I've seen until now she doesn't do you any good." "This is not about Lyn." "What did you freak about then?" 

Josh had been planning to break his friend open this time, but as he saw Tylers eyes fill with tears he sighed, grinded his teeth together and nodded lightly. "You know what? Forget it, it doesn't matter. Right now you just gotta lay down and rest, ok?" "Can I..." averting the olders eyes Tyler breathed more then he talked, "stay with you?" The drummers heart broke a little on that. "Of course you can. Good night." 

 

xxxxxxxxx

 

It didn't get better after that. It got way worse. As soon as they flew to LA Tylers connection to Josh was cut. For five days Josh could not reach him, couldn't get more out of him then a few "I'm ok." messages and when they united again at the airport Josh had to hold himself back to not grab Tylers shoulders, shake him and yell. The boy looked like death himself, pale and tired and sad, his eyes hiding behind sunglasses. Not saying a word about it instead Josh pulled him into a hug that lasted a little longer then it should before he greated the rest of their friends that stood nearby and eyed the singer curiously. "Is he alright?" Mark whispered with a raised brow and Josh could not do more then shrug. "I guess. We'll see." 

They checked in then and got seated in the plane, luckily their places were appart from the other so Josh tool the opportunity to ask. "Ty...why didn't you answer my calls?" "I was busy." "And with what if you don't mind me asking?" Sighing the younger slipped a little deeper into his seat, pushin the sunglasses that titled foreward in the process back to the bridge of his nose. "Bought an apartment." Inhaling sharply Josh pressed further. "Oh yeah? Where?" "Not too far from yours." Getting a strange feeling the drummer spoke what suddenly came to his mind, just because it felt right. "Does Lyn know where I live?" There was a pause and it was no good one, Josh was even afraid Tyler would not answer at all, but in the end he did, quiet, composed. "No." 

The plane started then and they both went silent, until they were up in the air, heading out to their next adventure. "Josh?" Ripping himself out of his thoughts the drummer turned from the window to his friend, only to find him starring back at him with his glasses still on. "Can we keep it that way? I mean...her not knowing that...you..." Tylers voice faded, he looked like he was about to panic again, so Josh just snatched his hand and squeezed it lightly. "It's ok. I won't tell her." 

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Josh was surprised to find Tyler in the bathroom. "There you are! They are ready for soundcheck, we searched for you, man!" Putting some tubes aside noticeable fast Tyler turned. "Oh...sorry, I was distracted." Tilting his head the drummer stuck his tongue out a little. "And by what? What are you doing in here anyway?" Looking over his shoulder as if the answer was lying on the counter Tyler really found it there, it seemed. He snatched a tube that layed still there, opened it and squeezed the black paint on his hands. "Putting my paint on." "For soundcheck?" "Yap. Need to get back to that blurryface-feeling after the break." 

Josh saw the area around his friends right eye being slightly less sweaty then the rest. He had wear make up often enough himself, for videos and interviews. Counting one and one together he realised that he shouldn't say something, not now, but later. "Ok, let's go." he gave instead of a question and registered the reliefed breath Tyler took. Passing him by the younger stopped for a moment. "Thank you." he coughed and ran off to stage.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Two weeks later Tyler flew home, or better to what he had learned to call that. It was pretty insane doing so as he spent more time on planes then he actually had to spent with his wife, still she insisted on it. Josh had tried to get to his friend multiple times by then but Tyler had been closed up, had spent a lot of time alone in his bunk. At least he slept a lot, it eased Josh a bit as the singer began to look a little healthier again. That was why he was not amused about his friend doing the trip. "You'll be there for five hours, Ty. That's just dumb! You'll be drained when you are back!" Waving his doubts aside the singer grabbed his bag and made himself ready to leave. "I'll be ok! Just...explore the city or something. See, I know you're kind of jealous that I not spent the days off with you but..." 

Leaning back into his seat and crossing his arms Josh interrupted him sharply then. "Who says I'm jealous?" "Oh come on, it's clear." "Tyler. Who said it?" Drilling his gaze into the youngers eyes Josh knew the answer before he got it. Lossing the starring battle Tyler threw his arms in the air defensive and scoffed. "Alright, ok, Lyn mentioned it. We talked about how you keep ranting about me going home and she said that maybe it's because you got no one to..." "Tyler Robert Joseph, dare you to say any other word or we're done!" 

They glared at each other now, but not for long. Josh felt something break between them when Tyler gripped his bag harder and put the strap over his shoulder. "Fine. If you don't want to talk about your problems, ok! But in return stay away from mine." 

 

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

Kelly learned it from twitter and Josh learned it from Kelly and then bombarded Tyler with calls for hours until the singer picked up. "Tyler! Jesus, finally! What the hell happened?" Sounding dizzy and tired his friends voice didn't soothe his upwired nervves then. "It's nothing, media is blowing this up! I tripped and hit my head, Lyn called an ambulance and the damn medic took a picture and posted it on twitter. I should sew that guy." Leaning his head against the cold surface of the wall Josh closed his eyes. "How bad?" "My head? Well they had to do a few stitches, but I can perform." "How did this happen, Ty?" "I told you already, I tripped." "Where exactly." 

Not waiting for the following silence to stretch Josh cursed for the first in a long time. "Fuck, Tyler, what is going on over there? Has Lyn anything to do with this?" There where shallow breaths at the end of the line, and Josh felt that he was loosing his friend. "Tyler? Answer me! Please!" Throwing another curse the drummer drove his fist against the wall as the call were ended.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Tyler was back, he had made it in time despite of his little accident. He downplayed it in the interviews, even if the scar on his forehead was pretty visible as they had to cut his hair to serve it. Josh had offered to shave the rest of his head and Tyler obliged more then he liked it. It was silent in the small hotel bathroom when the drummer carefully dragged the electric shaver over his friends head. "Sooner or later you will have to talk to me." he said after a while, after the half of Tylers hairs had gone. "And if I won't? Are you leaving the band?" the singer spit back more venomnous then he had expected.

Josh stopped for a moment, searching the youngers eyes in the mirror, but learning that they were closed, as if Tyler didn't want to see himself right now. "No. But I'll need more distance. I can't watch you suffer like this from so close." "I'm not suffering. I have a perfect carrier and a beautiful wife I'm in love with, I'm good." At the risk of cracking up their friendship Josh found a harsh answer to that. "But she doesn't love you, Ty. She wouldn't do that to you if she did." "Lyn has nothing to do..." Stopping in his motion and tossing the razor aside frustrated Josh backed off. "BULLSHIT! We both know you are lying! Why do you let her do this, Tyler, that's NOT ok!" 

Kepping his eyes closed the singer just sat there, but flinched as Josh kicked the trash bin hard. "Fuck, Tyler, say something!" "She has nothing to do with it." The singer repeated, slow, broken. Cursing under his breath Josh turned then and left him back, trembling and suffocating on his own words.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxx

 

They gave each other a wide bearth till the end of the tour. By then it felt like Tyler was going to vanish out of Joshs life. As soon as they were back in LA their contact broke once again, and this time not even Kellys pleas to talk to her son as Tyler had broken with his family as well, got Josh to react. As hard as it was, he just couldn't stand being lied to any longer. Plus he hoped that Tyler would come around when he got no one left to turn to. In the end, the singer did, although it was nearly too late then. 

Just coming home from a friends party Josh stumbled into his appartment, slightly drunk. He recognised his phone buzzing in his pocket and drew it out, not looking at the callers ID. "Hey, Colin, I already told you I will not join you on your taco bell run!" There was silence at the other side of the line and the drummer just wanted to hang up as he heared a painfull gasp, mumbled words. "Hello? Who is this?" he asked, getting worried slowly. "J...Josh...I...help me...please..." The voice stroke him deep in his soul and Josh had to sit down for a second as his knees gave in. "Tyler? Shit, Ty, is this you?" There were a few rattled breaths, then the confirm. "Yes. I...I falled...stairs...need...help..." Rushing to his feet, grabbing his keys Josh already started to head out. "Ok, just stay with me on the line! Fuck..." he hissed as his keys fell out of his nervous shaking hands and he had to bent down and grab them. "Tyler?" There was no answer anymore. "Fuck, Tyler, can you hear me? I'm on my way buddy...hold on!" 

 

xxxxxxx

 

Luckily the concierge knew about their band and recognised Josh, he would have to brake down the door to Tylers apartment otherwise. Rushing past the agitated young man Josh immediatly headed to the stairs that led down from the bedroom on the first floor. Tyler lay there, propped against the wall his arm slung across his hips. There were blood, vomit, sweat all over him painting him in colours of death. Josh barked at the concierge to call an ambulance and fell to his knees beside his friend, carefulle taking his face in his hands. 

"Ty...wake up! I'm here...Tyler...come on..." It took a few minuts of constant noise, of stroking his neck until the younger opened his eyes, and his pupils immideatly shrinked on the pain hitting. "Argh..." he groaned, cringing and clutching his hand to his middle. Josh recognised that he breathed hard and tried to stable him by slinging one arm around him and holding him up a bit. "Thank goodness! Tyler, there's an ambulance on the way. They'll be here shortly." Starring deep into the youngers eyes Josh had to hold on not to cry at how haunted they looked. "Ty...what happened? Please tell me the truth, did Lyn do that?" 

Again there was no verbal confirmation but the silent tears that began to slip down the singers face gave him away. "Oh god, Tyler, I'm so sorry!" Pulling his friend close, letting his own emotions taking over as well Josh cradled him carefully into his embrace, listening to the noise of the sirens coming closer.

 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Appearently Tyler was too skinny to be set on heavy meds, that was why he had to experience a lot of the pains of two broken rips and and multiple contusions fully concious. Josh didn't leave his side when the doctor examined him, held the fingers that gripped thigtly on his just as hard. "Well, Mr. Joseph, you've been pretty lucky! You could have broken your neck pulling that stunt! My daughter is a fan of you, so as I know your habbits, did you climb a stage rail again?" Forcing a smile Tyler turned his head with a small movement that expressed his tiredness more then anything. "No...I stumbled and fell down the stairs." "He stumbles a lot lately." Josh threw in, sitting on a chair beside him, fixing him with his gaze. 

Tyler didn't turn his head, just kept his focus on the doctor. "When will I be able to go home?" Chuckling the older man stood up and patted his patients shoulder lightly. "Well, son, this will take some time, we'll have you monitored for at least two or three days. Make yourself comfortable." Winking at them he left the room, telling then nurse to bring Tyler up to the station. Josh walked with him in silence, helped the nurse to settle the bed into the small white painted walls and thanked her as she left them with the hin that the singer should get some rest soon. She turned the headlight off as she walked away and they stayed back in a small bulb of white shining, coming from the lamp above Tylers head. 

Turning his head a little, groaning in the process the younger tried to catch his friends expression in his eye. "Hey..." he gave, in a voice that seemed not to be his, but still was usefull to communicate. Josh sighed, leaned foreward on his knees, closing his eyes for a second before he faced him. "Hey." "I kinda missed you." Giving a small, sad laugh Josh shook his head. "It didn't seem to be like that. You never called." Tylers smile faded as he turned away again, fixing the ceiling instead. "I couldn't." "Why?" "It's a long story." "Well, you're not going to leave this bed anytime soon, so we got time." "I'm...not ready." 

Straightening himself up again Josh decided to not let it be this time. He would push, as long as he needed to, he would fight. "Ok, then I will tell you what happened." "Josh..." "Remember when you came back from our brake and had the sunglasses on all the time? You had an black eye, wasn't it like that? You used make up to cover it and nobody got it but me, you're good at hiding." "Josh please..." "Or when she came to visit us on tour and the two of you fought...she scratched your back open man...that's just...sick! In the weired kind of way!" "Joshua, I..." "Shut up!" Shocked Tyler yanked back a bit sinking deeper into his pillow. "Look at you! You're nervous and anxious and sad all the time! You visit her for a few hours and end up in hospital with a cut on your head!"

Josh could see that he was trembling now and hated to do that to his friend, but it as the only way out. Tylers vision of affairs needed to be twisted so he could see what was going on. "You dissapear for weaks and then you call me in the middle of the night bleeding and wanna tell me you fell down the fucking stairs on your own...I don't believe you Tyler!" The younger shook fully now, had started to cry, his walls tumbling with every single word spoken. "Fuck!" Josh cursed wholeheartly, just because he knew that he was right, that Tyler wouldn't say anything to this right now, but it was the truth and they both knew it. 

"Come here." he added, sounding nearly like a hiss, as he leaned in and linked their heads together by their fronts, both of them closing their eyes. "I know you love her, Ty...but she's no good for you. She hurts you. It's not ok. It will never be. You need to leave her." 

 

xxxxxxxxxxx

 

"Hey, I'm running some errands, you need anything?" Josh pushed open the door to the his guestroom with his shoulder, writing items down on a list. He looked up as there was no instant answer, just to find a sight that left him smiling. Tyler sat on the bed, a pen in his hand, totally in thoughts, writing. It was beautiful to witness him to become his old self and the progress in the few weeks he lived with Josh now where fairly good. His body started to heal...his soul would need some time longer and he still didn't talk about what happened.

Josh had tried to convince him to report Lyn to the police, but Tyler refused with everything he had and they settled on the truce of him getting divorced immidiatly. Glad that Lyn hadn't shown up or contacted them since that night Josh stepped closer and slowly lowered his hand on the youngers shoulder. Tyler did flinch...he still did sometimes, but it got lesser. "You need something from the outside world?" Smiling now the younger looked up at him as he ruffled through his hair absently. "Are you going to stop at taco bell?" "I hadn't planned to, but as you mention it..." "Awesome." It had started to feel like the old days a bit lately and they both enjoyed it, Tyler leaning into Joshs touch a bit, then backig up and starting to write again while the drummer left. 

Humming to himself Josh opened his front door and wanted to step out, but were stopped by a shadow, a presence right before his floor mat. "Hello Joshua." she said, smiling and sweet, flicking a cigarrette in her hand. Josh felt a flashback, watching her painted long nails and the burning ash falling down between them. Tyler still carried the scars of them on his back and, as the drummer just realised in that moment, cirlce round wounds on his chest that as he knew now had to be cigarette burns. 

Without a warning, without a single feel of being sorry Josh lunged foreward and pinned her against the wall, his arm dragged across her throat, his weight pushed on her. "What the hell do you think you are doing here, Lyn?" Breathing out the smoke she had just inhaled with a cough the girl tilted her head and grinned at him. "I wanna see my husband, you little fucker!" Thightening his grip Josh pulled her up a bit so they were eye level and she had to stand on her toes. "Listen, babe, you try to piss off the wrong guy...I ask you nicely to leave exactly once and if you ever come back I will not be nice at all." "Oh, and what is little Joshie going to do to me? Beat me? Rape me? Come on, do it, you piece of shit! Do it and I screw your life till the end of your days! You think you can prevent me from seeing Tyler? You got no idea what I'm capeable off!" 

Slipping out of his loosening grip Lyn gave him another arrogant smile. "Tell him I expect to see him home soon." "You're crazy, Tyler won't go anywhere right now!" "He will! Ty knows me. He knows what I can do. And you'll learn if you try to fuck with me." With that she turned and walked away, leaving the drummer trembling of hate and aggression. Barely holding back from screaming he reatreatet into his rooms and closed the door, leaned his head against it for a second. Cursing under his breath he turned then and headed for the bedroom, fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

Tyler glanced up surprised as he entered so soon again and wanted to ask, but did not as he saw the expression on his friends face. "I'm tired. Let's just order some pizza and watch some silly old movie, can we?" Setting his writing book aside Tyler turned and embraced him brought them close together. "I'm so glad I got you. Seriously...you mean the world to me, Josh." Grabbing him closer the drummer closed his eyes and tried to forget what had just happened. Tyler was here. He was healing. He would be ok again. And for now, that was all that mattered.


	2. Won't let the wind go quietly

"Are you sure Tyler is going to make it until then?" "I hope so." Josh sighed, handing the map with their sheduled studio sessions back to Mark. "He is still stayin with you, isn't he?" The drummer could tell that his friend was trying to be subtle and decided to play dumb. "Yap. He knows I need the company." Shooting him an annnoyed glance Mark leaned back and observed the Diners staff for a moment. Not looking at his friend he got on. "He's not going back to her I hope." Josh whished he could tell him a solid no, but on fact he wasn't so sure about that at all. 

The more Tylers body healed the more he seemed to forget about what happened. After some situations where he had closed his laptop when Josh walked in or left the room to answer a call the drummer had confronted his friend, only to find that he was talking to Lyn again. Tyler had been willing to tell him what she said, but Josh didn't wanted to know, it were all lies nonthless. Still, his friend was a grown up man and even if he didn't leave a chance to rant about how much this sucked, Josh was not the one to take on a fight with him. 

Scrolling through his twitter feed to buy himself some time before he had to answer the questions Mark would surely bring up Jos freezed suddenly. "Fuck!" he hissed, shot up and ran for the door, leaving the startled videographer behind. Confused Mark pulled out his own iphone and scrolled through his social media. He hadn't to go very far to find what had set Josh up. "Twentyone Pilots singers wife Lyn Joseph announces pregnancy" a tweet told. Starring grim at the number of comments, retweets and suggestions rising up Mark hoped Josh would knew what to do then. 

 

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He hadn't even expected to find a note. In Joshs imagination, Tyler had been gone when he got home, had packed up his things and crawled back to her, so he was overwhelmed by a lot of contrary feelings as he found the singer standing at the livingroom window instead, starring out to the city. "Ty..." not sure how to adress this as he had to consider that the younger didn't know Josh crept closer. "I just waited for you because I wanted to tell it to your face. You're my best friend...I can't leave you back like this after all you've done for me." 

It felt too much like an farewell for his taste and Josh didn't hesitate to let his uneasyness show. "Tyler, you can't do this!" "I have to." "Fuck, no! You don't have to go back to her! Who knows if it's even true?" "The chances are pretty high." They had both raised their voices, strung high on their emotions, and Josh withstood the urge to drive his head to the wall. "And why, to hell, do you think that?" He regetted the question the moment he saw Tyler turning away from him again, clenching his teeth, starring at his own reflection in the window. Relaxing his tensed self a bit the drummer stepped closer then, beside him, crossed his arms and shivered a little on the coldness that seemed to surround them suddenly. 

Tylers voice were too controlled, too steady for what he told, and Joshs initial reaction was the wrong one right away somehow. "She made me come in her." "And by made do you mean...wait...oh...". Rolling his eyes the singer backed up then, walking into the room he had been staying in for weeks now to get his bag. Josh stayed at the window for some moments more, struck by the knowledge of things he whished had never happened. As Tyler passed him by on his way outside life ran into him again. "Tyler, for gods sake, if you try to get out of that door I'll take you down!" Stopping and smiling at him there was a certain calmness the younger radiated. "No, you will not. Joshua, look, I appreciate you're trying to help me...but I got myself into something you might never fully understand...and now I just pay the toll for what I've done." 

 

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Josh yearned the first studio day. He hadn't seen his friend since the day he left, but this time Tyler made sure to keep contact through regular texting him. It where short, but variating messages and an ultrasound image once. The drummer deleted it without taking a closer look. Against his expectations their reunion wasn't awkward at all, they bro-hugged thigthly and chatted idly about the tracks they planned to record, the one they had been passing back and forth between their computers. Josh registered that Tyler sounded different, though, hoarse, a bit deeper then usual. Glancing around to make sure they were not heared by others he reched out and touched his friends arm, just slightly, just to get his attention. "Hey...are you alright?" Again he was surprised as no lie fell between them. "No. No I ain't. But it's ok. It's what I deserve. And now let's don't talk about it anymore."

Josh obeyed, just because he didn't knew what to do else, he relied on the one thing that had always worked when the other closed up and he needed to find new ways to figure him out. The older focused on the way his friend sang and where filled with sadness on it. Tyler sounded older, darker, more worn out then battling. It suited the spirit of the new songs he wrote nearly too well, and Josh would have loved to just throw his sticks away and leave. He kept put instead and provided a steady beat, hoping Tyler would understand what he was trying to communicate: That he would be there whenever the younger needed him. 

 

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Stopping dead in his tracks Josh turned around after a moment and slowly closed the door of the dressingroom, flicking the lock shut. Tyler fixed him with red, overglaced eyes and smiled as he came closer, sat down beside him. "Want some?" the singer breathed, offering his friend a joint. Shaking his head nervously Josh snatched it and put it out on the desk right before them, where two other already smoked ones lingered. "Tyler, what the hell are you doing?" "Having some fun." "You get yourself wasted! We have a show in thirty minutes!" "Chill, dude, I got that." "I'm not going to fucking chill!" Desperate Josh stood up again and started to pace the room. 

"Ty...I never thought I'd say this, but if you don't stop destroying yourself...I need to quit the band. I need to get away from you because it's killing me to see you do this to yourself and no matter what I do I can't help you!" Leaning back into the cussions, laying his feet on the desk in front of him Tyler let his head roll to the side so they locked eyes. "Weren'T you the one who gave me my first joint, telling me I had to loosen up a bit?" Cursing himself inwardly for that Josh growled: "Yeah, but that was six years ago and we were kids!" Striken by an idea, a nasty one, the drummer came to an halt again. Slowly he returned to his friend and sat down, reached for the hem of his shirt.

The second his fingers touched the fabric Tyler catched his hand and twisted it slightly, just to cause attention. "Don't!" he whispered, closing his eyes. Josh felt his own heart beating strong and steady, his breath slowing down. "When I first made you smoke you were in pain, remember? You're wisdomtooth or something...I can't tell exactly anymore. I told you it's a smooth way to get rid of the aching. You believed me. You trusted me." Tyler didn't move or let go of his hand so the drummer got on. "That's what you're doing, am I right? You're in pain. Let me see.Trust me again. Please." Slightly the pressure on his wrist released a bit, let him move until his arm was free again. Tyler leaned in a bit as he dragged the youngers shirt over his head, revealed what he had already assumed. 

"Fuck, Ty..." Recognising the flinch the younger did when he reached out and touched one of the many scars on his body Josh didn't really know what to say to that. It was even worse then he had thought. Closing his eyes for a moment he withstand the want of pulling the younger in, hold him, cry into his skin. Instead he took both of Tylers hands and locked their gazes. "After this concert, you're coming with me." "Josh I don't..." The squeeze on the youngers hands got harder. "I said you're coming with me! If you don't agree to that, I'm going to call the police." Tyler went still, tears filling his eyes and his friend was quick to soothe him. "I'm not going to make you stay though if you really don't want to, but we need to talk, ok?" Giving a reliefed, small laugh the younger whiped his eyes and sniffed, drew his hands back. "Let's get ready for stage, ok?" 

 

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Tossing his key at the counter and heading for the fridge Josh switched the lights in his livingroom on and gestured his friend to take a seat. Tyler lingered in the middle of the room instead, his hands shoved into the pockets of his hodie, his face hidden underneath. Handing the younger a beer Josh let himself fall down on the cautions and opened the bottle, took a deep drag. "Sit down." he demanded, friendly and firm, but Tyler declined by shaking his head a bit. "I'll be not here for long. What do you wanna know?" Gulping another swing full of cold liquid Josh tried to plan the conversation in his head and came to the conclusion that there was no way to do this right. 

"Why do you let her abuse you?" He well recognised the way Tyler closed his eyes for a second on his choice of words, but he ignored it this time. Even if he'd hurt his friend it couldn't be more bad then what he already had been through. Tyler seemed conflicted, had slung his arms around his middle now, rocked back and forth a bit on his heels. "If I tell you, do you promise not to tell anyone else?" Feeling hurted that he even had to ask Josh pushed down his pride and just nodded, bracing himself for what was to come. Tyler started quiet, nearly whispering. "The first time I tried to leave her she told me she'd kill herelf if I did. I couldn't be responsible for something like that. So I stayed. She got pretty mean around the second month and suddenly came up with that marriage thing. I laughed at her. She hit me right in the face. I thought it was on overreaction." 

Setting the bottle aside Josh straightened up more, listening to the monoton voice. "Lyn always started fights, from the beginning. She yelled and threw things at me...she provocated me in every way possible, tried to get me to raise my hand against her...and as I didn't she started to raise hers." Josh wanted to reach out, to touch the other, but yet didn't. He understood that this was just the tip of what had happened and remained as silent as he could be with his pounding heart inside. "She found new ways to play with me daily. Remember the night I paniced? When I came to you?" Smiling bittlerly the drummer nodded again, getting a hint of fear in the youngers eyes as he nervously glanced over to him. 

"She...she made me do her. I didn't want to...but...she kinda left me no choice." Letting the reality of this sinking in Tyler walked over now, slumbed down beside his friend, curling up on himself, his knees drawn to his chest. "I tried to leave her for the second time when we were at our break. She went berserk, punched me over and over." "Why did you never fight her back?" Tilting his head Tyler shot him a glance. "Oh come on, tell me you would ever punch a girl!" Pressing his lips to a thin line Josh sighed as he understood. "I guess you're right. Still...why didn't you leave her afterwards?" The distance between them became more again as Tyler shrinked back a bit, looking down on his trembling hands. 

"She...went crazy, Josh, completly. She's insane. She hit herself blue and black in the face and told me if I would go she'd tell the police and the media you would have tried to rape her." It was a sting to his soul to learn that he was part of the cage Lyn had built to keep Tyler close, and it raised his anger. "That litte bitch..." Stopping him by holding one hand up Tyler went on. "There's something more...when she announced that she's pregnant...she called me and told me that if I wouldn't come back she'd abort. I can't let her do that, Josh, do you understand that, I can't let her kill an innocent child, I..." his breath becoming rattling Tyler clenched his fists to his chest, paled a bit. Josh didn't wait for him to went into full panic, he held him close the second he started to shake and calmed him down much faster then the situation would have let to expect. Still he couldn't make his friend stay, and as Tyler left him in the early hours of the morning Josh allowed himself to lean onto his hands and cry.

 

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Following the second hand on the clock across him Josh tapped an absently beat against his thight. He felt uncomfortable sitting there in the tiny, but clean waiting room, plastered with posters with qoutes and numbers of hotlines. There were one for suicidal people, one for abandoned teens, one for domestic violence...the drummer shudderd as he realised that this was maybe the closest term to describe what Lyn was doing. He startled a bit as the door of the bureau was ripped open and a black man around fourty appeared, pushing his glasses on his nose and looking down on a list. "Mr. Dun?" he asked in the waiting room, which Josh found pretty useless as he was the only one sitting there. "Yeah, that would be me, then." he answered awkwardly and stummbled to his feet, shook the man's hand. 

"Jerome Wailton, but you can call me Jerry. Come in!" Forcing a smile the drummer stepped inside the room and sat down slowly, waiting for the other man to take a seat. "So..." looking down on his list again Jerry beamed at him. "Joshua, right? Is it ok we stick to the first names?" "I'd preferre Josh, but, yeah." "Ok, Josh. So what can I do for you?" Kneeding his hands he tried to find a start then. "I..There's this friend of mine..." Giving him an amused glance Jerry let show that he had hurt this sentence way to often. "No, really, this is not about me!" "It's ok, calm down, it's just...the usual cover up, you know?" "Yeah, I can imagine. But it's not like that. This IS about my friend. I know he's being abused and I wanna help him but I don't know how." Changing to an all serious demanour Jerry leaned foreward a bit.

"Ok, what's going on with your friend?" Biting his lip nervously the drummer began to talk then. "He met a girl that's pretty controlling. She started to always pick fights so he wanted to break up but she told him she'd kill herself so he stayed. She started to get physical abusive after that. One time she pushed him down the stairs, he broke two ribs. Everytime he tries to get away from her she makes up threats...like telling the police she was raped by me or threatening him to abort his baby..." "She's pregnant?" "She says she is." "Are you sure?" Josh shook his head, getting slowly comfortable with the situation as Jerry looked at him sympathically. "You know, son, female aggression is something very complex and subtle, at least at the start. Woman who abuse take advantage of the cultural accepted fact that they are the weaker part in a relationship. They use moral standards to justify their behaviour...like hitting their partners but expect not to be hit in return." 

Squirming at his seat a bit Josh listened. "Also female abusers are often masters in psychological control. They spin a web of conversations, lies, promises that they catch their victim in. Plus, they know that only few of the man who are abused are talking about it. You wouldn't believe how high the rates are expected." Taking a deep breath Jerry leaned back again. "They downgrade their partner every opportunity possible, tell them they are less of a man because they let themselfs being tortured like that by a woman. Does she rape him?" The question came so out of nowhere that Joshs breath hitched on it, yet it sounded so casual as if it wasn't even a big thing. "Does it happen often?" he countered with another question and Jerry signalised he understood with a nod. "Unfortunatly, yes. People always think man can't be raped. Well...they can't always be forced to penetrate their partner but there are a lot of pratices that don't require commitment." 

Starring at the floor Josh felt a shudder running down his body. "See, Josh, I think your friend needs serious help. There's literally no way you can help him out of this if he isn't going to cooperate and report her. We as a support for victims can help him through the trial...but he has to come to us on his own will. Try to talk to him, be there for him. Sooner or later he will be ready to share." "And if not?" The drummer didn't want to have an answer, still he got one. "Then there's nothing you can do to help him." 

 

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Hiding behind the steering wheel like a criminal Josh glued his eyes to the elegant form of his friends wife as she left the doctor's office. In a nother universe he would have put the pedal to the floor and ran her over, in this one he waited until she drove away in a cab and then left his car, slowly apporaching the door she had come out. Unsure of what he did the drummer entered the lobby, wandering over to the desk with a blonde woman sitting behind it. As she raised her head and looked at him Joshs breath left him for a minute as her steel blue eyes drowned him. "What can I do for you, sir?" she asked politly, smiling invitating.

"I...ah...Could you...." stummbling over his own words Joshs eyes fell on the name tag she wore and he cleared his throath and started over. "Jenna, hm? Nice name! So, you know, Mr. Joseph just left. I'm a friend of her's and she forgot to pay for her ultrasoundpictures. She asked me to do it, so how much do you get?" Looking irritated for a moment Jenna tilted her head. "I'm sorry, Mr....?" Swallowing hard Josh told her his name, "Mr. Dun, every money transition can just made by the patient itself. Data security issues." "So..." leaning in a bit Josh tried to look ass sympathecaly as he could, "she HAD an ultrasounding?" Biting her lip unsure the blonde started to tap her nails on the desk before her. 

She had seen her patient with her husband once, per chance, a few days ago in a mall. Jenna hadn't liked Lyn Joseph from the start but witnessing how she spoke to the fairly handsome man she happened to be married to made her even more unsympathically. The doctors assistant knew that it was wrong and could get her into trouble. Still she felt that this was kind of important, that the man leaning on the counter was the good one in this game. "Mrs. Joseph had a check up on her coil. She can't get pregnant."

 

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"...be nowhere without him! I can't kick him out of the band Lyn, that whole thing wouldn't work without him!" "That's bullshit! Those damn emo kids would listen to every crap you get out there, with or without him! The only cause you're holding on to him is because he hates me!" "That's not true!" "You're such a sad excuse for a human being, Tyler! You really take your crappy friend over your family? I swear to you if you don't get rid of that asshole I'm out! I quit and keep on living my life, without you and without that little brat of yours that you managed to put in me!" "I can't Lyn...I just can't. You don't understand." A crash ended the conversation for a moment, then the womans shrieking voice sounded up again. 

"You're such a little wanker, Ty. Did you know you never managed to make me happy? Not in life, not in love, not in bed! I don't even know why I still stick to you, must be my weak spot for the degenerated! You..." a slap followed another one, "bastard, you fucking idiot! Come on, say something! You fag! Are you letting him fuck you? Is that why you don't want to send Josh away? Is he riding your ass?" "Lyn, please..." While Tyler still sounded controlled the drummers patience finally snapped. He had stayed silent at the door, his fist raised to knock, but had stopped to listen to the fight that just made him even more sure of all of this. It had to stop, right now and then. 

Driving his fist down at the door full force he let his anger speak as he yelled: "Tyler, open the door, now!" He didn't wait for long to repeat, and he did it again and again, until his friend opened the door a bit and glanced outside, his face barely visible. "This is really bad timing, Josh, can I call you later?" Not even bothering to answer the drummer pushed the door open and send his friend flying to the ground in the process, ignored Tyler calling after him and rushed in the living room of the apartment. Lyn saw him coming and started to grin devishly, throwing a "Oh look, romeo has come too!" through the room before she realised that Josh wouldn't stop his hostile behaviour when he reached her. Grabbing her collar he pulled her up and pushed her back until her back hit the wall, pressing all air out of her lungs on the impact.

"You whore, you fucking little cunt, I swear I kill you if you ever get close to him again, I finish you, with my bare hands!" "Josh, let her go!" Tyler yelled behind him and being sobered by the panic in his friends voice the drummer let go, watched her slit down the wall and grin up at him. "That's good, Joshua, keep doing it, keep violating me! Hopefully you kill that damn baby!" "Josh, step back!" Tyler broke in a second time, clearly on the verge of snapping. Taking a deep breath the drummer looked down on her a last time and spit in the middle of her face. Then he turned wordless and snatched his trembling friend by the shoulders, catched his chin to observe the damage she had done. There was a cut on Tylers cheek, other he seemed to be ok for now. 

"We need to get a doctor, the kid..." "Tyler." "Josh, what if you hit her too hard...what if..." "Tyler!" Getting the youngers attention through yelling at him the drummer looked him deep into the eyes. "She's not pregnant. She never was." The scene froze for a moment then, Lyns laughter dying down slowly. Pushing his friend aside Tyler starred down on her with hollow eyes. "Is that true?" he whispered, not backing up her gaze as she snorted and shook her head. "Of course it's true. I mean, do you really think I'd let someone like you knock me off? Your a nothing Tyler, you're a nobody. You're a fucking toy, something I can use when life gets boring. That's you're only purpose, the only thing you are good for."

Willing to not let her do any further damage Josh turned and took the youngers hand in his. "What do you think will happen if you leave me, hm?" Leading Tyler out of the rooms that were never his Josh did not look back a single time, even if Lyn kept on talking. "You'll don't even have words for the shitstorm I'll have coming after you, Tyler Joseph!" Pushing the front door open Josh tugged lightly as he felt that the younger slowing down, overthinking a last time if he should be going back, but the drummer won, led him out side. "I'll take you down, you little piece of shit, I'll tell them every mean lie I can come up with!" was the last thing they heared before the door fell shut.

 

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"Punches?" "Yeah." "Where?" "Face. Chest. Um...groin." Closing his eyes Josh hoped the survey would be over soon. He had driven Tyler to the next police station without giving him a warning, but the younger seemed to understand that this was uninvetable as he followed Josh and the officer into the small interrogation room and helped to fill in the report with a tired voice. "Other methods of physical harm?" "Cigarette burns." Tyler paused, shooting Josh a shy glance before fixig the desk again, "Needles. She threw things at me as well. Pushed me down the stairs." Giving a blank expression which Josh was thankfull for the officer noted what he had heared. "Sexual abuse?" Tyler choked on that, opened his mouth but just couldn't say it. "I take that as a yes." The cop sighed and filled the answer in. 

"Alright, that's it so far. Our doctor will be here in some minutes to examine you so we can expand the report on a medical survey. I suggest you also call the court and try to get a restricting order against Mrs. Joseph." Standing up the officer stopped before he left the room, turned and made eye contact with Tyler. "You're a brave man, I hope you know that. There are too many out there who never end up here." Mumbling a thank you the singer was visibly glad as he left, slumbed in his seat and let his head fall on his arms that he had folded on the desk. Pulling himself out of his mesmerized state Josh stood up then, kneelt down beside him and layed his hand on the youngers shoulder. 

It wasn't long until he could make out the sound of crying, of sobs, and tugging lightly he hoped Tyler would be ready to let the older comfort him. Falling into his arms more then he leaned the younger let go then, were shaken by the pressure leaving, the story ending. "It's ok," Josh whispered, holding on to Tyler just as much as the other to him, "it's over."


End file.
